Sunshine from the inside but cold when you're outside

It's taken me thiiiiis long to figure out what exactly the problem is and now that I know... I'm no longer interested. Not the way I uses to be. I go the distance until I can't anymore. Hopefully I will only need a break.

__Steps__
1. Know
2. Accepting
3. Apology/Grief
4. Integration

I don't know that I have the patience to wait and see especially if I'm still getting nothing.

( here come the tears). I've been a fool again. I'm upset with myself. I don't have anymore energy to give. I need someone to give me, invest in me.

My concern with going forward with this is that I won't have anythings left for me. I give some much attention and effort to [ ] that I don't give enough to myself.

I really don't know.

I always want everything to workout but maybe I have to learn how to be okay with things not being okay AND letting go.

If someone wants to hold on to someone or a object they will put forth the muscle to do so.