Family Tied

Family Tied

"…I smoked, didn't take care of myself and now I have Cancer. And now you have to take care of me. You're mad at me…" (Grey Anatomy conjoined twins & throat Cancer)


I'm mad at her because she may not be here to watch me finish growing up, have kids, have "the talk", watch me graduate. I mad that there a possibility that I can once again my emotions into fully believing that she's going to be okay. I'm mad that I have to move back home to California before the time that I want to.

This is one of the times that…


I'm mad because I don't know that I can be strong enough to deal with this. My emotions are those of an elastic rubber band.

In the midnight then and only can I be silent. Silent enough to hear the thoughts, my thoughts, feel the feelings and doubt with nothing to distract me. I sleep little so that by being awake I miss nothing. I miss nothing because I am awake, alert and able to be distracted. My heart can be distracted from the questions that fill it and the pain that floods it.


I only allow myself to be fully aware of my emotions when my body allows me to cry, when I sob, or when I write because I can only write truth. I can only express my honest emotions. I'm at one with myself- completely when I write. I'm tied to my writing just as my emotions are tied to Cancer.

~ Written by Nicole! aka LaSunset
November 30, 2006
@ 10:10pm