Departure

Departure

Yesterday (early this moring) I had a conversation with a member of my family and it was suggested to me that I move back to California (sooner than what I planned) to take care of another member of my family that's currently battling Brain Cancer.

Shock filled my entire being. Although I asked my cousin her opinion of the situation and she honestly gave it me. I was still shocked. I went to sleep shortly after that conversation with my cousin and when I woke I couldn't shake feeling a deep sadness. I mean, please don't get me wrong I will move back to California to take care of my love one but I must be absolutely honest and give vent to m feelings as well.

When I even consider leaving/moving from Boston for any other reason than me being ready to move, I become inextricably sad. My heart rips and I immediately filled with feelings of anxiety, frustration, fright, and worry.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Maybe moving back before the time I wanted to won’t be so hard for me. Now I need to figure out how to move/ship my books, favorite chair, drum set. How do I accept that there’s a strong possibility that I will have to pack up move? How do I find closure? How do I cope with the sudden change? How do I say goodbye? Just how long do I have to terminate? How do I deal with my departure?

~Written by Nicole! aka LaSunset

December 10, 2006 @ 8:28 EST