____________|\___|\/\___*

I'm not interested in saying anything else.

I'm choosing not to care.

I withdraw.

I don't want to share my life with her or anyone.

I will remain alone.

Buying music is what I now choose.

But it probably wouldn't choose me back.

I have to keep quiet from you because you use my words against me.

I'd rather just not be bothered.

I'm choosing not to be a part of anything.

I'm not going Saturday.

Who cares about context.

All pointless.

Read this. Cum on this. I'm sure you will share it.

I waste my breath.

Who cares anyway.

I should have chose this a long time ago.

Nothing.

I choose not to be supportive.
Travel alone. Without me.

I'm stupid for even considering the idea... Once again, silly me. The code is that__________

I won't be sharing that here.


- - -

The worst things; confusing my intentions for control (me being sweet died tonight) and betraying me. I've said nothing different that I haven't already said before about my family or work- absolutely nothing. funny thing is- i was told by you that I share my problems with people but now you want me to share with you- you've done damage and don't even know but want things to work differently to accommodate you and your process. Not only have I quit, I don't trust.

You've taken a lot of shit out on me and ALWAYS have- from my apartment, event tickets, blasting me on social media, being malicious, telling me fuck u, leaving me, event dismissal, saying u want to hurt me, blaming me for your test scores, constantly testing my affection for you, etc. THAT IS A LOT! You want to hear about my family and other areas of my life but you can't deal with us. You can't even say sorry without minimizing your actions. Sorry followed by a but isn't a apology at all. You've come out from the very beginning swinging daggers at me. You assumed I was like 'them'. Anyone in their right mind could see how this could be tiring and frustrating. You don't apologize because you don't want to deal with being wrong. Everything is a debate, discussion, argument with you. You can't be told anything and you can't be the person that's wrong. You're so sensitive that me saying "Stop. Red light" made your tone rude with me. That sure doesn't leave any room for anything else. I AM NOT trying to fucking control you.i am not THEM, HIM, HER, etc.

I've been pushed on topics tonight. None of which I said was different. I shared them them in a angry tone because they were asked after me being told I was arrogant, unappreciative, rude and five other things. I'm still not capable of saying or doing anything right by you. The only thing you DO NOT debate me about is giving you head. Yeap! That's the only thing so imagine how that makes me feel. Truthfully I'm even surprised that you think I do that right. I know my intentions. I trust myself because I honest with me first and I make sure that I always keep you in mind, even when I can't afford to and when I don't have the means to. Cut me some fucking slack!

You talk about poking a finger in a womb- that's exactly what you did to me. When I tried to share on my own (about a topic that's genuinely hard for me) at dinner you over talked me and poked fun at it. I'm just tired. I've been honest with you even when I've secretly been embarrassed or feel shame. I genuinely thought we were making progress but after tonight and you telling me that I'm not being honest I'm not sure. Maybe you're the one that's holding back with me- tonights conversation blindsided me. IDK. Don't worry about sharing anything else in your life with me. Don't worry about doing any emotional work for an us. It's no longer necessary.

I'm hurt.

I'm cool.


Thanks