\O/ Breath In, Breath Out (11/272011)

I'm all for some things being constant, like, Love, affection, understanding, dreams. You know, the good shit. But lately I can't help but to feel like I'm really going through a post-quarter life crisis. My mind is consumed with my career, my relationship, death, me not feeling like I'm reaching my goals and not because I'm lazy or not working hard. I just feel like I'm in a morbid assed cycle. I'm sure it reads rather simple but emotionally this is beyond draining.

I'm doing about 85-90% of shit right. The other 10-15% is put to good use. Making attempts to seem "normal". I am recovering work-a-holic that is in need of ________. I doing all that I can. I just hope that the Universe comes to meet me soon because I will soon have my back up against a huge wall. So, I'm constantly trying to to anticipate those feelings... just another task that I consumed with during my 10-15% or normalcy.

She's said some things to me that have me stressed out and not really enjoying the bumps in my career road. I doubt that she even knows. I'm really stressed out but trying so hard.I can't talk to her about it. I don't think I will attempt again either. I've never felt like I couldn't and shouldn't talk to the person I dating. I'm not sure how much longer I can suffer in silence without wanting to talk to someone else.

Death has been on my mind. My mom started talking to be about her funeral and the arrangements again. This talk was about a week and a half after my car accident. Crazy shit!!

Let me go to sleep. Maybe when I fall asleep my brain will go on a mini vacation from this and all the other shit on my mind.

\O/