How To Deal...

Fuck it!

Whenever I have these overwhelming feelings of love, excitement and nervousness about my relationship with her, I'm going to just whip out my phone and play a game. I will avoid and redirect myself the way she does. I wonder if that method is going to make me like her? I wonder if she could really deal with me being like her? If she says that I mean now she's going to really thing that I'm mean...well, she will most certainly think that I am guarded and short with her. She will think that I am combative. If I do go forward with this plan she's going to need some extra nerves. She already can not deal with being wrong and she if I become withdrawn or upset with her and she doesn't understand why I've become that way, instead of trying to understand or asking me what my issue is she defaults to being upset. It's a defense tactic. It's almost like she doesn't know what to do so she revert back to what protects her.. Too bad she doesn't know that I don't want to hurt her.