Who's paging me?

It's Wednesday, at 3:22am and my ex, Courtney just texted me. Her text read, "You were an integral part of my first yr of the acting program. I'm inviting you to the ceremony on Friday at 1. If you'd like to come let me know". <--sent @ 2:56am.

Shit, I thought it was either my annoying as room mate or a twitter message.

I'm a little weird right now. I don't want to be with her. I don't want to have sex with her or anything like that. I do. honestly, wonder time to time how she is doing. I knew her struggle and geninuly cared for her. She was a pretty decent person but treated me like shit. She made it clear to me even thought I didn't accept it, that I wasn't high on her list of priorities. She broke up with me via a text message while I was on vacation.

I guess I still feel hurt that someone would treat me like shit especially since I tried and put in honest effort. I felt like she just dismissed me. Slammed the door in my face

Currently (in the last few months) I've been keeping my distance and wicked firm about it since I sent her the 'No. We can't be friends. You treated me like shit' text.

I'm not friends with ANY of my ex's relationshippers or anyone that I've have a ecounter with. I feel like she and I could potentially have a friendship but I'm not ready for that thus making my current relationship not ready to explore this possibility. I like things being uncomplicated and if having Courtney's energy around will complicate things then I'd rather not even go down that road.

I would however consider going to her graduation and leave before it's over so that we don't have to talk but I have a session. !!!!!!!!!!!! I care. I just know know how to. I've never felt [naturally] like or had a opportunity to be friends with my ex's, i guess.

This is all just weird to me. It's weird because I haven't really hurt yet still feel like I genuinely care for and ex. . .

this blog is shit. I'm sleepy and my brain to ready to shut the fuck down.

Sidenote: This/That texting me after 10pm is not okay. I will address that. She doesn't have access to me as she once did so texting me whenever you feel like isnt okay. She doesn't know that I am dating someone and its none of her business. I also have NO problem with telling her.

my eyes burn ... i will edit this shit another day. I need Zzzzzz.