It's okay Nicole

I wish that I had unshakable hope or faith. The kind of faith that would comfort you through the bad times and not just the good time. I'm talking about hope that lasts longer and stands stronger than Christian faith. However, today, I am realizing that reality is set before me and in spite of the outcome (is that one word or two?) life must run it's course even if I deny and fight it with all of my strength. In the end, what shall be will be and finding some healthy form of resolution is necessary, even though I would rather have my way.

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In a few hours my mother and I head back to Kaiser Hospital to take more scans of her Brain. I hate waiting for the results of her MRI. The last time that we were there I held her hand as she laid there for about an hour. The whole process of waiting kills me especially when it has to do with waiting fr results.

Today shall be no different. Today is another MRI day, as I call it. More test to see if her Brain Cancer is making any progress or if things have become worse... I am NERVOUS, ANXIOUS and SCARED. There is no fear like POWERLESS FEAR, but I keep telling myself "It's okay Nicole".